Was Smeagol gay

A/N: Here's what Gollum claimes really happend. Dont' kill me, I love Gollum, and decided he needed a say in what was written! I don't really know what to say about this chapter except- R/R! It will get better

Disclaimer: I don't own LoTR.. I don't think I should either.. I'd abuse that privledge too much.. *evil grin*

The Precious- Gollum's Story

[What Really Happend]

It's been a long time preciouss.. A long time, yes, yess! The stories are wrong! We only know what really happend, gollum, gollum! Is it interested? Does it want to hear Smeagol's story? It better sit down.. It will be here for a while..

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This thing all things devours:

Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;

Gnaws iron, bites steel;

Grinds hard stones to meal;

Slays king, ruins town,

And beats high mountain down.

The answer to that riddle is- obviously- Time. A simple four-letter word, representing a thing that people take advantage of. Time, however, should not be taken advantage of.. Or have such a dismissive name.

Time is a powerful weapon, if one knows how to use it correctly. A creature called Gollum knew this, but did not know exactly how it could be used. He had no knowledge of a time before he was in the state he was in at this very moment. Except that he'd aquired something wonderful on a birthday long forgotten.

This was the One Ring. So far it had rewarded Gollum with an unnaturally long life, and the power to make him invisible. In a way- it made time useless to Gollum, who decided that with the ring he was immortal. Immortality was a close guess.

Speaking of time, at this moment it was time that Gollum should be finding his breakfast. He was about to leave his little island and get himself some fish when a strange sight came to his eyes.

There was a small creature feeling his way along the wall of the cave to Gollum's lake. His curiosity took hold of him and Gollum, ignoring his boat, jumped into the water without a sound and swam up to meet the strange creature.

"What is it preciousss? Does it taste good? Why is it sneaking?" The creature let out a yelp and jumped back, alarmed by the shining eyes that were right in front of him.

"Whos' there?!" The creature demanded in a shakey voice.

"It is us preciouss.. What is it? Why isn't it answering our questionssss?" Gollum lifted himself out of the water and walked towards the creature- noticing he was a head taller than it.

"Stay away! I am Bilbo Baggins! A Hobbit from the Shire! I've lost my friends and I've not a clue as to where I am.." He looked around then added in a disgusted tone, "And I'd rather not know.. Just the way out, would be nice."

Gollum hissed at this hobbit, who had insulted the place he lived, and decided to tell it where it was. "Bagginsss is under the Missty Mountainssss.."

Bilbo glared, "I asked you not to tell!"

Gollum folded his arms and glared back, "Preciouss doens't like his home talked about badly! Ssss, gollum!" He made an awful noise in his throat when he said "gollum", and it frieghtend Bilbo.

"I do apologise, but you did startle me!"

Gollum took a step closer to the hobbit and caught sight of something in it's hand. His eyes flared green and he snarled, "MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" He lunged at Bilbo, who suddenly dissapeared.

"GIVE BACK THE PRECIOUSSS!!!!!" Gollum shrieked, looking around wildly, eyes flaring. He suddenly went dead silent, and heard the hobbit's loud feet running towards the 'back door' as he called it. "Nassty theif! Baggins will pay! We hears the theif!" And he took off, following the sound of the hobbits feet. Only stopping every so often to listen.

Finally he reached the tunnel that led to the outside. Bilbo had obviously stopped, as he was breathing heavily, somewhere to Gollum's right. A plan formed in Gollum's mind. If he could get the nasty Baggins outside, he'd see his shadow, and be able to grab the theif. Giggling softly, he started muttering.

"Preciouss is lossst! Nassty Baggins took it out the back door!" Gollum thanked the fact that the Goblins were gone this time of day, and walked- fake sobbing- the the opening in the rock.

He'd done it. The nasty hobbit was following him. He walked to the opening and- shivering before he did so.. he hated the light- peeked his head outside. Then, giving enough room for Bilbo to get past him he heard the hobbit sneak through.

"PRECIOUSS HAS GOT IT!" Gollum cried as he pounced on the hobbit's invisible body. The Ring slipped off of Bilbo's finger and he was visible again. "GIVE MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT BACK THEIF!" he cried, grabbing the hobbit's neck with long fingerd hands.

"I-It fell o-of-ff!" Bilbo choaked out. Gollum let go with one hand and looked around the ground with his eyes, searching for his precious.

"Liar! Nassty lieing theif!" Gollum started choaking Bilbo again, but the sound of a dozen feet pounding on the ground were coming towards the two. They glared at eachother for a breif moment, then both dashed behind a rock. "Theif.." Gollum mutterd, glaring at Bilbo.

"You're off your rocker! I havn't got your precious, as you call it. It fell OFF!" Gollum shoved a hand over Bilbo's mouth and sneaked a peek around the rock.

Sure enough, at least a dozen goblins were filling the area around the opening. Gollum let out a painful sounding squeak as he saw one of the goblins grab his precious. He resisted the urge to jump out there and grab it by digging holes into Biblo's arm with his nails.

"OUCH!" Bilbo yelled. All the goblins turned to look at them.

"FOOL! RUN PRECIOUSS!!" Gollum shot up and started running away from the opening, Bilbo close behind.

Gollum chanced a look behind him and saw that they weren't being chased. He stopped abruptly and Bilbo ran into him, knocking him over. "Sss! Clumsy hobbitses!" He growled, getting up from the ground.

Bilbo ignored this and clutched the stick in his chest, gasping for air. "T-that w-as cl-close.." he panted.

"Nassty Bagginsss.. Should have kept quiet! Sss, preciouss is really losssst! LOSSST!" Gollum colapsed on the ground and his slimey, green head lowerd into his hands. He wasn't fake sobbing now.

Bilbo sat down next to Gollum and wisperd, "Bloody goblins.. taking the precious.." Then his head snapped up as he realised what he'd said. He coughed, trying to cover it up.

"The precious is Smeagol's.." Gollum said testily, eyeing Bilbo with suspision.

Bilbo glared at Gollum with an evil glint to his eyes. "Precious is mine," He smirked- looking particularily evil.

Gollum's eyes widend and he stood, pointing at Bilbo with one of his long fingers, "YOU WANTED TO STEAL THE PRECIOUSSSSS!"

Bilbo calmly stood looking up at Gollum. "No, I did not. You should know that, Smeagol was it? I only now discoverd that I want it! It's very curious.."

The suspision hadn't left Gollum's eyes as he raised an eyebrow, "Preciouss has made the nassty hobbit love it too?" Gollum paced for a moment, "Why?"

"I do not love it! And stop calling me nasty hobbit! I am Bilbo! Not nasty hobbit, theif, baggins, or any other name you can think of for me!"

"Fool?" Gollum asked, grinning in an amused sort of way.

Bilbo narrowed his eyes and sunk down to a sitting position again, Gollum followed suit. Then he turned to face Bilbo and said, "Baggins must help get the precious back."

It was a statement. Bilbo sighed- ignoring the fact that Gollum'd called him Baggins- and, completly forgetting his friends, said, "Very well. Precious must be found." He blinked again as Gollum looked at him questioningly.

"Why is Baggins calling it precious, we wonder.."

Gollum sat talking- arguing, rather- to himself for the next little while, Bilbo listening with his head cocked to one side.

A/N: If Bilbo seems OOC to you you'll learn why soon enough. Gollum, I think, is pretty IC. But if you beg to differ..see if I care! I like Gollum this way! This is kind of a chapter I needed to write to set some things up. It will get better!

Tell me how you liked it!

*Preciouss