You may find yourself getting quite attached to your stepchildren after a time, falling in love with their smiles and personalities.
If your stepchildren don't return your love in a way that satisfies you or that's not up to your expectations (let go of those!) you may be easier prey to feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
One of the greatest challenges for a stepmom is letting go of her ego.
Caring for a child even when you may get no credit for doing so is the ultimate test of character. Checking your ego at the stepmom door can take years of practice and experience but learning not to take everything so personally will become a phenomenal asset down the road.
Granted, there are stepmom/stepchild relationships that never quite take off, but for the most part, stepmoms and stepdads begin to see their stepchildren as an extension of themselves as the years go by.
Depending on how much time you spend with your stepchild or stepchildren, you may feel those pangs of jealousy creeping up on you. There may be times when you feel like your relationship with your stepchild couldn't get any better, and then mom shows up, and you feel like chopped liver.
It may also be hard to see your spouse with the biological mother at special events involving your stepchild or stepchildren, but this is a situation that's going to be about as permanent as they come. Ask yourself how well you deal with having to stand in the background at times because there will be times when that's necessary.
Get in tune with what sets you off the most emotion-wise, accept it, and find a way to live peacefully with those emotions so that you can function.
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